I recently experienced a situation with a faculty leader at my daughter\u2019s school that brought one of my pet peeves back to the top of my mind: \u00a0many people in leadership positions have a very difficult time apologizing.<\/p>\n
After reading over a defensive, insincere apology from this individual, I thought to myself: \u00a0\u201cThis guy isn\u2019t a true leader. \u00a0True leaders apologize and take corrective action.\u201d<\/p>\n
I knew I had thought this thought before. \u00a0But after 1,600 or so blog posts, I wasn\u2019t sure if I ever blogged that thought before.<\/p>\n
So, I googled \u201ctrue leaders apologize and take corrective action.\u201d<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t find any writings of my own. \u00a0The top google results had titles like \u201cShould Business Leaders Apologize?\u201d and \u201cWhen Should a Leader Apologize \u2013 and When Not?\u201d \u00a0As I perused the question-laden titles of the articles that Google was serving me, it became more clear that many leaders don\u2019t even know if they should ever apologize and may actually think that they shouldn\u2019t under any circumstances.<\/p>\n
Yikes!<\/p>\n
For them, perhaps, apologies seem like a sign of weakness. \u00a0For me, apologies are a sign of strength. \u00a0If I, as a leader, screw up, I am confident enough that I can say \u201cI made a mistake. \u00a0I am sorry.\u201d \u00a0Sure, it takes guts to say that. \u00a0It takes determination to recover from a mistake. \u00a0But, if I don\u2019t have guts and determination, I shouldn\u2019t be in a leadership position.<\/p>\n
Would you be able to take it if I said something harsh?<\/p>\n
Well, here it is: \u00a0If you even\u00a0think<\/em>\u00a0that apologizing might be a sign of weakness, then you are\u00a0already a weak human being<\/em>.<\/p>\n And I won\u2019t apologize for saying that!<\/p>\n I look at leadership credibility like a bank account. \u00a0I believe that good leaders make enough \u201cdeposits\u201d into their \u201ccredibility accounts\u201d that a \u201cwithdrawal\u201d from such an account won\u2019t overdraw the account. \u00a0Sure, a mistake may tarnish the opinion of any subordinates who thought you were perfect. \u00a0But, chances are:<\/p>\n Going back to my google results, there were many additional, valuable tidbits from the articles in my search results. \u00a0I\u2019ll share some of my favorites\u00a0to close out this post.<\/p>\n Ivey Business Journal cautions to beware\u00a0\u201cof the \u2018non-apology\u2019 apology\u2026An effective apology does not seek to excuse \u2013 to explain, perhaps, but not to dodge responsibility. \u00a0Apologies that rationalize behavior are often those that are forced by a settlement.\u201d \u00a0The article includes an analysis of a written apology of late Apple CEO, Steve Jobs when Apple was criticized for reducing the price of an iPhone by $200 only two months after it debuted at a $599 price point. \u00a0The author cited a dubious line from Jobs\u2019 apology: \u00a0\u201cThis is life in the technology lane.\u201d \u00a0She wrote that this line single-handedly killed the chance that Apple customers would be convinced that Jobs \u201cfelt their pain.\u201d \u00a0One more important piece of advice regarding apologies comes at the end of the article: \u00a0\u201cNever blame others.\u201d<\/p>\n An article on\u00a0thomrainer.com\u00a0lists five good points regarding leaders\u2019 apologies:<\/p>\n In a\u00a0Forbes article\u00a0with perhaps my favorite title \u2013 \u201cCourageous Leaders Don\u2019t Make Excuses\u2026They Apologize\u201d \u2013 the author writes that apologizing freely \u201crequires a great deal of courage\u2026People need courageous leaders in order to feel there\u2019s someone to make the tough calls and to take responsibility for them \u2013 they need to know that the buck truly does stop with the leader\u2026Courage begets courage: \u00a0your followers are more likely to make their own tough decisions and to take responsibility for them when you model that behavior. \u00a0You have their backs \u2013 so they\u2019re much more likely to have yours.\u201d<\/p>\n This article includes a five-point \u201capology primer,\u201d which lists a series of steps that are involved in a good leadership apology:<\/p>\n I\u2019ll include one more example that violated the \u201cdon\u2019t equivocate\u201d rule. \u00a0One of my passions is running races. \u00a0A few years ago, I ran an annual race that was usually pretty well-done. \u00a0However, that year, as I and others crossed the finish line, our feelings quickly changed from the usual \u201cfinish line euphoria\u201d to confusion and even anger.<\/p>\n You see, we were all thinking that we set personal records for the quickest time completing a 5k race. \u00a0But, when some of us began looking at the GPS distance tracking apps on our phones, we realized that we didn\u2019t run the 3.1 miles of a 5k race. \u00a0We only ran about 2.75. \u00a0The course was measured incorrectly. \u00a0To a runner who is trying to set a personal record, that\u2019s pretty disappointing. \u00a0Basically, the stats from the race don\u2019t really count because the distance wasn\u2019t accurate.<\/p>\n The race director did post an apology to the event\u2019s Facebook page. \u00a0But it was really a half-hearted apology.<\/p>\n Though it\u2019s been years since the race, I still remember these words from the apology: \u00a0\u201cWe\u2019re sorry if it ruined anyone\u2019s day. \u00a0But the race was for a good cause.\u201d<\/p>\n The words \u201cruined anyone\u2019s day\u201d really was a poorly veiled attempt at trying to make the dissatisfied customers feel petty. \u00a0And, while the race was indeed for a good cause, that doesn\u2019t excuse anyone from being incompetent and irresponsible towards hundreds of people who paid money to participate.<\/p>\n Everyone had the option of simply donating money to the cause. And many of us do simply donate generous amounts of funds to various charities. \u00a0But the difference between simply submitting a donation and registering for a race is the expectation that we will receive a benefit that meets certain standards when doing more than simply submitting a donation. \u00a0There was no place whatsoever for a \u201cbut\u201d in the apology.<\/p>\n Look, as leaders, we may feel that \u201caccidents will happen\u201d and that people don\u2019t need to make a big stink about certain errors. \u00a0But, the key to apologizing in these situations is to keep those feelings out of the apology. \u00a0Apologizing properly\u00a0is courageous. \u00a0And occasionally biting our proverbial tongues when tempted to make excuses or lash out at those to whom we are apologizing takes perhaps the most courage.<\/p>\n True procurement leaders are courageous. Apologize when you have to. And apologize for the right way.<\/p>\n Recommended Reading<\/b><\/p>\n\n
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